How Does This Make You Feel?

John Mayer

All aboard the douche cruise! The ship is loaded with seamen and ready to go! (sorry, can’t help it) A few years back, John Mayer (and John Mayer types) used to do stuff to me, until I discovered him to be a huge pile of solidified  douche water. That said, I am hating myself right now for thinking that he looks hot in these pictures. Uniforms do that to me sometimes. Okay, ALL the time. How does Captain D make you feel?

Source: Splash News

John Mayer as Captain Douche

John Mayer as Captain Douche

John Mayer as Captain Douche

  • Meh, I’d probably hit it. But I wouldn’t feel too great about myself afterwards.

  • Todd R

    I’ve seen better legs on a chicken.

  • robert

    Once again: spoiled by tattoo.

  • Alex M.

    Well… no.

  • Ummm, interesting? Is this the Captin’ and his little Tannille?

    What happens to this man when he is on the high seas?

    Last year it was a Borat banana hammock, this year a gay YMCA look.

    Hmmm, maybe Jennifer left the boy just in time before he BURSTS out of the closet. LOL

  • Randall


    God, I hate tattoos on the divine, which John Mayer is, by the way.

    I loves me some John Mayer. Factabidness, I’m getting ‘John Mayer’ tattooed on my weiner today.

    I love him in part because he seems so down to earth. No one else would wear a “Borat” bathing suit.

    A good week to all.

  • David1969

    how does this make me feel….well all I have to say is…..ATTEN HUT…..MAJOR WOODY HERE REPORTING FOR HIS ORAL EXAMS…..LOL

  • WannaBuyADuck

    He looked just fine, until I saw the short shorts. Very Fire Island 1964.. Puke.

  • DoverDavid

    That I’m glad I have meaty, hairy legs.

  • Wayne

    This guy is gay! I remember hearing him tell a story to Ellen Degeneres, years ago, that “Your Body is A Wonderland” was written about a guy he was seeing. I was shocked when I first heard that he was “dating” Jennifer Anniston because I thought he was gay. After the thong last year and now the military gay thing I’m certain that what I heard was correct. And someone really needs to do something about those legs! I’ve seen artificial limbs with more meat on them!

  • Wayne

    And I should add that when I first saw the pictures I thought I was looking at Marc Anthony… Mayer is WAY too skinny!

  • Felix Garmendia

    This man is as sexy as a bag of sand.


  • thatniceguy

    He’s okay, but his sense of humor makes him more attractive. This is a tribute to the old TV show The Love Boat.

  • Ronald

    I always have wanted to do him. NO one else here wants him so I guess he’s all mine ! :O)~~

  • Ronald

    I’ll take him since NO one elese wants him!

  • WarpedRecord

    So John Mayer is in the Village People now?

  • Curtis

    Dang those little short shorts makes my balls tingle!! He looks yummy in them.

  • Jay

    He’s a good guitarist, but his songwriting is puerile and jejune. Which can be cute (Jason Mraz circa 2005 comes to mind; although he’s expanded his chakra lately) but add the entitled prick element, and, no.

  • Deejum

    OK Square…I’ve gotta know…just why is this guy a solid bag of douche water? I know nothing about him, and not that much more about his music. He doesn’t appeal to me on most levels, but I’m still dying to know the scoop. What gives?

  • Kyle

    I’m new here, however, I have been lurking for awhile.

    I initially thought John Mayer was good looking, but never gave him much though.

    Since admitting to making out with Perez Hilton

    He lost all appeal in my book. Just ewwwwww!!!

  • Onelove90

    This kind of freaks me out!!
    But I wish his clothes were tighter!!!!

  • FrankyWanky

    He looks cute. HOWEVER, doesn’t he realize he looks EXTREEEEEMELY gay in those shorts? Is he coming out?

  • blazatu


    sure, the face, but i mean those knees???

  • John is for sure the perfect type of guy. He’s too cute and too funy, always. AND he’s very talented, so, there you go.
    These make me feel nice. It’s just fun!


  • Harry

    Reminds me of Gopher from The Love Boat… only without the sex appeal.

  • Josh

    Just to say … as if the tattoos will make him look even remotely masculine — lol. Poor John Mayer. He’s always going to have the body of that guy in the high school audio-video club. He’ll always look like a teenager.

    As to how these pics make me feel: Uh, like wondering if the Village People lost one of their characters.

    He looks like an idiot.

    Well, no, he looks like a big ol queen. Ok, there. I said it.

    (no offense to those who actually like this guy and the way he looks)

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