Because Nothing Wakes You Up Better than Some Healthy Narcissism
Wake up bitches! It’s time to go to work or do whatever the hell you want to do on Monday morning (I usually go out shopping for groceries). If you’re too drunk from last night to get out of bed, here’s a little something to wake you up. Well, part of you at least (you so nasty). It’s them guys with their friggin’ iPhones again! Here are four of my picks for today, including a faceless one. Just imagine that he looks like Ryan Gosling or Brandon Beemer okay? The smooth one looks like a shaver but I’m not complaining. Also, the one with the glasses gave me a huge craving for venison for some reason. Woof. I call that one first!
Side note: Damn it! How could I be fooled by that “Kris Allen” iPhone picture when I did post that same damn guy before? I’m not that old yet! Now where’s my walker, I need to go grab em’ greens before that slut Bernadine buys them out.