Because Nothing Wakes You Up Better than Some Healthy Narcissism

Shirtless Guys with iPhones

Wake up bitches! It’s time to go to work or do whatever the hell you want to do on Monday morning (I usually go out shopping for groceries). If you’re too drunk from last night to get out of bed, here’s a little something to wake you up. Well, part of you at least (you so nasty). It’s them guys with their friggin’ iPhones again! Here are four of my picks for today, including a faceless one. Just imagine that he looks like Ryan Gosling or Brandon Beemer okay? The smooth one looks like a shaver but I’m not complaining. Also, the one with the glasses gave me a huge craving for venison for some reason. Woof. I call that one first!

Side note: Damn it! How could I be fooled by that “Kris Allen” iPhone picture when I did post that same damn guy before? I’m not that old yet! Now where’s my walker, I need to go grab em’ greens before that slut Bernadine buys them out.

Exhibit 1

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

Exhibit 2

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

Exhibit 3

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

Exhibit 4

Shirtless Guy with iPhone

  • Johnloche

    wow…. The first and last one r the best…. Love that hairy chest and pink nipples… Thnx Square… U made my day…

  • robertg

    smorgasbord! Last pic dessert with toasted coconut and two maraschino cherries. Yeah, I know, but was the best I could do at this early hour.

  • Tom

    OH that last on………………………………………..sorry too busy looking again.
    Would love to wake up with that every morning.

  • QCNiceGuy

    The last one…Totally irresistible!

  • WannaBuyADuck

    Yeah, the last guy is the tits! Did anyone notice the wet stain on his shorts? Makes him even hotter.

  • Phil

    I think the “wet spot” is just a shadow…

  • Phil

    Thanks Square for featuring normal guys too…

  • Zac

    I KNOW THE GUY IN THE FIRST TWO!

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