Time For Some Hairy Literature Part 2

Chest Shaving on Nivea's Website

HELL. NO. Last week, The New York Times has published a great article on male body depilation, focusing on our beloved chests and pits area. Do not proceed if you have a weak stomach! Although it is truly heartbreaking to read on, I feel that it is my sole responsibility to share this with you guys. We need to acknowledge the two major follicle nemesis that are Nivea and Gillette that we LOVE furry men and you don’t have to look like a prepubescent 12-year-old to get the girls (or guys)!

Here are some quotes from the article. Just sad.

Little research has been done on male body depilation. But a 2005 study published in the journal Sex Roles found that 63.6 percent of 118 men at the University of South Florida said they trimmed or removed body hair below the neck to be hygienic and attractive.

Smooth chests are attractive? Since when?

And in a yet-to-be-published survey of 364 male students at the same university, more than 80 percent said they engaged in body depilation, said Michael Boroughs, the lead author of both studies and a graduate student in psychology.

This is definitely dangerous. I think I’m going to get sick.

In May, Gillette started a series of how-to and why-do-it videos online suggesting that men go further with body shaving. The rationale varied by part. Chest? “A sweater should be bought not grown.” Armpits? “An empty stable smells better than a full one.” And their coup de grâce is the groin: “Trees look taller when there’s no underbrush.”

That’s it. We need to launch a CRUSADE on Gillette and Nivea. They are clearly run by none other than the DEVIL himself. Nivea didn’t wan’t to fall behind on the evil doings, so they have posted a very graphic (warning: NSFHCL*) form of this mutilation process with tutorials(!!!) on their Active3 product website. Blasphemy!

Here are some caps of the “before”. Can someone please tell me what exactly is wrong with this fuzzy hunk in the first place?!? Oh, his name is Jislain Duval just in case (you know you wanna Google).

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Okay, depilation in progress!

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Mmmm… Free range chicken anyone?

Jislain Duval Shirtless

Here is a video of how to shave your groin by Gillette. Thank God they used animation to demonstrate this.

I need to sit down, have a drink or ten and call my therapist. Thanks Joe (as always) for the heads up!

* Not Safe For Hairy Chests Lovers

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