Something Is Not Right

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

And I think I know what it is. Just when everyone thought they’re having a wonderful end of Labor Day weekend, Jeremy Piven spoils it by taking his shirt off. You know what. I surrender. Maybe it’s the new celebrity trend. I hate it to bits, but sometimes the devil wins. So much potential, all going down the bloody drain… Also, he seems to have a serious hatred against chest hair, even some of the skin gone missing. What’s up with that?

Splash News via Dlisted

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

Let’s take a deep breath and stare at this picture for a minute.

Jeremy Piven Shirtless

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28 Responses to “Something Is Not Right”
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  1. a little edgy on September 7th, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    That’s repulsive. Really. Not just the fact that he is waxed so totally hairless but the nasty, crepe-y skin as well. Or is that a scar? Either way, some hair would cover it up. Furthermore, Piven’s body, while robust and potentially sexy in a bear-ish way, is far from perfect. Again, some hair would help soften the outlines of his belly and love-handles.

    I’ve said it before – a very young man with a perfect physique and great skin tone can maybe go hairless. Other men, over 25 and with less-than-perfect bodies, should leave their body hair alone. It looks better, guys, really it does.

  2. squarebart on September 7th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    Let’s hear it for mercury poisoning! Hooray!

    Sad. Really sad.

  3. squarebart on September 7th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Sorry for the duplicate posting. (How’d that happen!?!?)

    Why is it no one thinks “how will this look as I get older?”

    What could have been? if left alone…
    http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo303/photobartley/jeremy-piven_08.jpg

  4. Justin on September 7th, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Please pardon me why I go scrub my eyes with brillo pads ….

  5. Todd R on September 7th, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    He just gets uglier with each passing day.

  6. strobey on September 7th, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    what on earth?! I hope he didn’t get pec implants or something like that. He used to be ridiculously hot… definitely needs to leave the fuzz alone…and stay in the shade!

  7. Boris on September 7th, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    When my father had his coronary bypass, he had a scar just like that…

    And of course he looked so much better when he was hairy…

    I hope he didn’t waxed or lasered his chest to look younger, because if he did, it failed…

  8. LeadingMan on September 7th, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Eeeeeek!

    Can mercury from sushi make your hair fall out? LOL! Seriously, this boy needs to be reforested quickly. He’s always been a favorite because he has always seemed so natural and un-fussed-over. I have some of his shirts and would be willing to give them back to cover up until the nightmare is over.

  9. theduckhunter on September 7th, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    what is that in the middle of his chest? doesnt look too good does it?

  10. KarmaLysing on September 7th, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    To me it looks like stretch marks from gaining weight after too much waxing. Or maybe every time you duck out of a contract by lying about a fake medical condition, little gnomes come by at night and dig divots in your chest…

  11. loudrockmusic on September 8th, 2009 at 1:07 am

    Those are stretch marks, my dear. Some people get them as their weight fluctuates or when they get old. Neither of which has ever happened to me. I’ve always been a svelte 150. And I’ve been 27 for, like, 8 years now.

  12. KarmaLysing on September 8th, 2009 at 3:33 am

    You DID recognize the second part as sarcasm, right?

  13. DoverDavid on September 8th, 2009 at 6:01 am

    Ok so he’s shaving his entire body for what? To show how gross he looks? The center of his chest looks like he’s retaining so much fluid that it’s going to burst at the seam, either that or it was cut open right down the middle. I used to think he was cute, NO longer.

  14. David1969 on September 8th, 2009 at 7:02 am

    O Jeremy, Jeremy, wherefore art thou Jeremy?
    Deny thy razor and refuse thy waxing;
    Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
    you’ll no longer be hot….I beesech you to be furry once more…for our sake…for the enjoyment of those on Squarehippies.com

  15. Eve on September 8th, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Everything is not right here — not “something”. Jeremy Piven is all sorts of disgusting, and I wish I was talking only about his looks. Dude is a major douchebag of the highest order — honestly, there should be his (ugly) picture next to the definition of the word.

    I came here to get my Ray Drecker weekly (and hairy) fix but I got *THAT* instead *BARFS*

  16. scotty on September 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I just threw up in my hand……

  17. ComplexEarf on September 8th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    I honestly don’t even think that’s Jeremy Piven.

  18. Jay Woolsrake on September 8th, 2009 at 11:03 am

    I’ve been tongue lashing Piven for almost a decade now over his penchant for depilatories. What real-life entourage has been ill-advising this poor man? It must be a bunch of girlies (female or male) with bikini waxes and plucked eyebrows of their own! Or stock in Nair.

    Piven had some of the best body hair in Hollywood, and obviously, his body is in protest (one might dare say “revolting”) over its removal. He’s got good enough muscle to make a great base for a perfectly handsome hairy torso, and a natural pelt of hair would hide a multitude of stretch marks and collapsing nipples. How can we get him to listen to his old fans???

  19. Drew on September 8th, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    He had a small part in Miami Rapsody and there are incredible shots of his hot, hot, hairy chest. I think you should put those up with the “now” pictures and maybe he will rethink this abomination.

  20. WarpedRecord on September 8th, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    I’m with ComplexEarf: I don’t think this is really Jeremy. If he’s shaving his chest, he’s shaving his arms as well, and that just ain’t right!

  21. Brian on September 8th, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    God, I just came across this as I am about to go out for dinner. Just lost my appetite. If he shaved it off, what was he thinking? Bloody ugly, no other word for it.

  22. Mallory on September 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    It’d be nice if that weren’t really Jeremy Piven, but I think it is. Sick, I mean I don’t mind some smoothness, but some guys (like Jeremy) absolutely need to be hairy in order to maintain some sex appeal. Guess I’m not saying anything that has not been said already, but ….. gross.

  23. Phil on September 8th, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    [responding to first post]-Yeah 25 is sure OLD…

  24. eagander on September 8th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    My dick won’t be hard for a week after looking at that! Used to drool over him. Now I wouldn’t touch him.

  25. Ron on September 11th, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    I don’t think it’s coronary bypass surgery my scar looks better probably because I had a better surgeon. But the tiny scars from the drainage tubes just below the pecs are missing.

  26. tommy on January 8th, 2010 at 8:18 am

    Dude has had some serious chest acne..none of you nitwits couldn’t figure that out?

  27. Josh on August 30th, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Tommy is right, they are scars from serious nodular chest acne which he must have had when he was younger. There’s nothing he can do about it, so don’t be ignorant, shallow people.

  28. cynthia on March 13th, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    this is why I will never want to be famous, ever! no matter if i were to earn millions. people talk so much shit. who cares what his chest looks like, who cares if he has scars in the middle? they are trying to stop bullying at school and yet here are doing the same. criticizing celebrities left and right. is his acting great? Yes. thats all that matters. you guys are all retarded. criticizing about his body. What if someone took pictures of you guys, posted it on some site and said how ugly you are and how many faults you have?

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