The Little Mermaid: A Retrospective

Prince Eric & King Triton

On my intercontinental flight last week that seems to have taken forever, I had a chance to watch Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” again, only this time as a grown ass gay adult (I blame this and this). Between the obnoxious lady next to me who can’t keep it to herself and the constant engine noise, I just realized — this film is the gayest piece of Disney’s cinematic history, bar none. We’ll take a look at my take at the film and some of its gay overtones, after the jump.

As a young gay, “The Little Mermaid” is one of the top 10 tapes that will remain in the VHS recorder at all times, along with “My Little Pony”, “She-Ra, The Princess of Power”, “Gummi Bears”, “Thundercats”, “Silverhawks” and the all-time favorite, “Jem and the Holograms” (I curse that show for making me mess with my mum’s makeup). Back to the film, “The Little Mermaid” has one and perhaps the only object of my animated childhood affection; the dark, brooding, blue eyed heartthrob Prince Eric. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think there’s a single gay kid in the 80s who hasn’t fall for this dreamboat of a hunk.

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Subliminally, Prince Eric has set the standard for all my celebrity crushes from there on. Case in point…

Eric Hanson

Eric Hanson

Eric Hanson

Eric Hanson

Isn’t he delicious? Okay, he’s technically not a Hollywood celebrity — but he is well known to some so that counts! And he shares the same name — Eric! I wonder if Hanson is a royal name as well. If that’s the case, I’d totally change my name to Ariel Triton.

Hey, I thought I was the only one who has a serious crush on Prince Eric. That’s not fair!

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

Prince Eric

In the meantime, please excuse Scuttle. He’s still dealing with his chronic foot fetish.

Scuttle

Scuttle

Scuttle

Eric isn’t the only one that grabbed my attention this time. As I grew older, my taste in men have changed drastically; from the teeny bopper hairless twinky types to the slightly mature, hairy and defined set. Then I realized again, I always had a tingling for King Triton; the ruler of the sea and Ariel’s daddy who just happened to be toned, well built and wifeless.

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

King Triton

A shirtless muscular daddy drawing a gliterry rainbow with his big stick? If that isn’t gay enough for you, I don’t know what is.

King Triton

King Triton

What? Another NSFW comparison? Who did this? Anyways, this is one of my favorite non-Hollywood acts of all time, Chase Hunter. The mustache did (and still does) a lot of things to me. Grrr…

Chase Hunter

Chase Hunter

Take a closer look at the only eye contact that was made between Prince Eric and King Triton in the film. I don’t know about you, but I am highly suspicious. Ariel better watch out for the monthly father in law visits!

King Triton

Prince Eric

And of course, there’s the sea witch — the magnificent Ursula. As much as I love to be Ariel (just because she gets Eric), we all must have some Ursula deep inside each and everyone of us. I mean, how fierce is this woman? If I was a full blown tranny, this should be my true role model. And having the ability to make someone fall head over heels for you is totally something I can use myself (Sudeikis beware).

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Why do I have a feeling that Ursula and King Triton bumped tentacles and scales with each other before? No wonder she holds so much grudge against that hunky sea silver daddy. Maybe she’s actually Ariel’s mother? (DUN DUN DUN) Soapy speculation aside, I really think that Ursula used to be a man, then he had his sex change but his lover, King Triton didn’t approve. That’s why she is where she is now! But then, if that’s the sole cause of her fierceness and fabulosity, who cares?

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Ursula

Contrary to popular belief, “The Little Mermaid” has not only little gay undertones here and there, it actually reeks gayness if you view it from the other side. I can’t imagine anyone who haven’t seen this film before, but if there are some out there, then this is the one to watch.

King Triton

  • white panda

    Chase Hunter…wow…just wow…

  • The Wire Hanger

    Excellent and hilarious post, Square. Throw these in periodically for a little change of pace, different flavor, different tone. I hope the rest of your readers appreciate this one as much as I do. Bravo!

    Love,
    The Wire Hanger

  • Jay

    I thought the same think the first time I saw it. I looked around to the theater and wondered do these people realise that Ursula is a drag queen? I just kept laughing to myself wondering who wrote this and did the higher ups realise how gay the whole movie is.

  • Miaaiiw

    Actually, Triton and Ursula were originally supposed to be siblings. They changed it last minute, still, in some storybooks it is inplied they are indeed related (which explains why Ursula says she once lived in the palace).

    In the broadway musical version of The Little Mermaid, they ARE indeed siblings.
    Their father in the musical version was Poseidon, and he gave Triton one part of the sea, and Ursula the other part. But Ursula only wanted both parts, so Poseidon banished her, and gave Triton both parts. That’s why she wants revenge. The musical version of her is a little bit different.

  • Andrew

    You know if you look at the wikipedia page for this it says that Ursula’s look was inspired by Devine the famous drag queen. How is that for gayness?

  • theduckhunter

    I was never attracted to King Triton for me its been pan now i can like some youthful older guys like Jason Earles he has that timeless youthful look

  • Dewey Mee

    I Loved your review of “The Little Mermaid”; and all your comparisons with actual human men are spot on. I’ll have to watch the movie again from a gay perspective. King Triton does nothing for me but, rest assured, you are not the only gay guy who wanted to go to bed with Prince Eric!!!!!

  • Chris

    What I remember being impressed with when I first saw it was that Triton was the first cartoon character I knew of who had nipples!

  • May

    As a kid I was totally in love with Eric and mostly with the musclebound Triton.

    The scene with Scuttle touching Eric’s feet… wow. I remember it as if it was yesterday.

  • Nix

    That shot of Eric on the balustrade in his tight pants was the one that, back in 1989, confirmed to me I was gay.

  • http://twitter.com/theJJMG Justin

    What a delightful post, Square :-).

    BTW our friend Josh Cutie McHairy alerted me earlier today to some … rather more adult-oriented Disney-cartoon-themed pix, such as:

    this

    and others at http://www.toonpassion.com

  • eagander

    Great analysis! Makes perfect sense.

  • magusxxx

    You forgot to mention the penis controversy…

    http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Disney/Mermaid.html

  • Eric

    You forgot the most convincing piece of evidence: the priest pops a boner while performing the marriage ceremony for Ursula and Eric. Eric was just THAT fine.

    • http://www.squarehippies.com/ Square

      @The Wire Hanger Thanks for enjoying the post! It’s a little different (and much longer) that the usual ones but I do hope this will encourage people to actually READ instead of just looking at skin. lol

      @Miaaiiw Thanks for the info. I missed the musical but will totally see it when it comes back on. Triton and Ursula being siblings makes perfect sense.

      @magusxxx & Eric Thanks for the heads up! I really should’ve done more research, but will totally make another post for the missing parts.

      @Everyone Else Thanks for enjoying this post!

      As you can see I am oozing with appreciation. Perhaps it’s time to take a shower.

  • Daz

    My fav Disney animated feature to this very day!!! No other male leads will ever come close to Prince Eric! And Ursula kicks every villain’s ass out there with her tentacles and jiggly boobies! You’re right about Triton too… he’s one hot Daddy!

  • chris

    i love an older man and chase is just lovelyyyy <3

  • http://www.myspace.com/newvillage3000 CRU

    The Little Mermaid has been my all-time fave movie cartoon – and maybe all these things u mentioned I subliminally knew – decades before I actually joined the ranks and came out! I LOVE THIS POST!! I ALWAYS thought Eric was a hottie – so good to know I wasnt the only one! THANKS so much for this!!

  • c. bernard

    Wow, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Prince Eric was a total stud! There is animated porn of him as well f.y.i.

  • http://www.poisonparadise.com Brandon

    Taylor Lautner in a wig last night on SNL totally looked like taylor lautner. take a look

    Taylor totally looks like Prince Eric

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  • Megan

    Loved this! And especially the reference to Jason Sudeikis. I must confess I would use that power for exactly that reason and with that goal in mind.

  • mike

    it is so funny to find this website and your crush on King Triton ,
    Oh my yes , that beautiful white beard , toned body and big hands.
    I find his character sexy looking. and yes i think he had a thing for eric too .
    he could have taken me to his sea palace mmm

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  • Nathan

    OMG! You guys have ruined my childhood! D: lol jk, I LOVED this post. I admit that I always had a thing for Triton; even as a kid :S I love me some silver daddy!

    Now i’m going to search YouTube for all these old shows.

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  • Jasper

    OMG! – This man is the identical twin to Jess Vill . With these two men you’ve made me forget about the hair requirement. Their powerfully handsome, enthralling eyes and succulent lips make up for the masculinity of a hairy torso. THANK YU for posting these two men. (and I apologize for being so far behind in my viewing, lol)

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