The Little Mermaid: A Retrospective
On my intercontinental flight last week that seems to have taken forever, I had a chance to watch Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” again, only this time as a grown ass gay adult (I blame this and this). Between the obnoxious lady next to me who can’t keep it to herself and the constant engine noise, I just realized — this film is the gayest piece of Disney’s cinematic history, bar none. We’ll take a look at my take at the film and some of its gay overtones, after the jump.
As a young gay, “The Little Mermaid” is one of the top 10 tapes that will remain in the VHS recorder at all times, along with “My Little Pony”, “She-Ra, The Princess of Power”, “Gummi Bears”, “Thundercats”, “Silverhawks” and the all-time favorite, “Jem and the Holograms” (I curse that show for making me mess with my mum’s makeup). Back to the film, “The Little Mermaid” has one and perhaps the only object of my animated childhood affection; the dark, brooding, blue eyed heartthrob Prince Eric. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think there’s a single gay kid in the 80s who hasn’t fall for this dreamboat of a hunk.
Subliminally, Prince Eric has set the standard for all my celebrity crushes from there on. Case in point…
Isn’t he delicious? Okay, he’s technically not a Hollywood celebrity — but he is well known to some so that counts! And he shares the same name — Eric! I wonder if Hanson is a royal name as well. If that’s the case, I’d totally change my name to Ariel Triton.
Hey, I thought I was the only one who has a serious crush on Prince Eric. That’s not fair!
In the meantime, please excuse Scuttle. He’s still dealing with his chronic foot fetish.
Eric isn’t the only one that grabbed my attention this time. As I grew older, my taste in men have changed drastically; from the teeny bopper hairless twinky types to the slightly mature, hairy and defined set. Then I realized again, I always had a tingling for King Triton; the ruler of the sea and Ariel’s daddy who just happened to be toned, well built and wifeless.
A shirtless muscular daddy drawing a gliterry rainbow with his big stick? If that isn’t gay enough for you, I don’t know what is.
What? Another NSFW comparison? Who did this? Anyways, this is one of my favorite non-Hollywood acts of all time, Chase Hunter. The mustache did (and still does) a lot of things to me. Grrr…
Take a closer look at the only eye contact that was made between Prince Eric and King Triton in the film. I don’t know about you, but I am highly suspicious. Ariel better watch out for the monthly father in law visits!
And of course, there’s the sea witch — the magnificent Ursula. As much as I love to be Ariel (just because she gets Eric), we all must have some Ursula deep inside each and everyone of us. I mean, how fierce is this woman? If I was a full blown tranny, this should be my true role model. And having the ability to make someone fall head over heels for you is totally something I can use myself (Sudeikis beware).
Why do I have a feeling that Ursula and King Triton bumped tentacles and scales with each other before? No wonder she holds so much grudge against that hunky sea silver daddy. Maybe she’s actually Ariel’s mother? (DUN DUN DUN) Soapy speculation aside, I really think that Ursula used to be a man, then he had his sex change but his lover, King Triton didn’t approve. That’s why she is where she is now! But then, if that’s the sole cause of her fierceness and fabulosity, who cares?
Contrary to popular belief, “The Little Mermaid” has not only little gay undertones here and there, it actually reeks gayness if you view it from the other side. I can’t imagine anyone who haven’t seen this film before, but if there are some out there, then this is the one to watch.