What. The. Hell.

This is the worst piece of news I’ve heard like EVER. Whatever I did to deserve this, please tell me God because I will make things right! Just when I thought I can go through the weekend smiling after the sight of mah husband’s tummy fuzz, came the news of mah first husband dating Jennifer Aniston. Of all people! They were allegedly dating since shooting “The Bounty Hunter” together. Noone can deny mah husband’s fake stache hotness, but seriously? All that said, this is a perfect excuse for Jason Sudeikis to be in the news more often. More paparazzi will follow him around, camp in front of the house (my daily routine) and hopefully get some good skin shots out of mah husband. Wait a minute. This is totally a clever tactic to publicize my crotch’s highly anticipated film of the year “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy“. Nice one mah husband!

Just in case you’re wondering where the cap was from, click here. Now excuse me while I go lock the door and drown my sorrow in fudge squares.

  • I wondered if you had heard. Think nothing of it. He’ll get bored and leave. They all do.

  • shesthemimi

    Anniston may not keep them, but she has had a shot at a few hot men. Sudeikis is so sexy.

  • Nich

    *shrugs* What’s wrong with Jen Aniston? Sure, I’d rather him be with me. But if I can’t have him, Jennifer’s an alright alternative.

  • robertg

    Ms. Aniston seems to have a death wish when it comes to relationships. How many now? At least the ones we know of. She is adorable, funny, great looking, so what’s going wrong? Ask the formers, I guess. Consider Sandra Bullock marrying, of all people, Jesse James. She’s actually bright. He’s actually a brickbrain. Ah celebrity. None of these people have learned that passionate scenes on a movie set don’t lead to passionate off-set, lasting relationships. I give this one 6 – 8 months and I think that’s being Jen-erous.

  • Stuart

    If anyone is going to convince him that he needs to go gay, it’s Aniston.

    • @Stuart A big amen to that!

  • Empress

    Welcome to my world! Mah Husband is Thorsten Kaye from “All My Children” and the bastard is not only married to another soap actress and a homely one at that…..he knocked her up not once but twice! Sigh…..now John Stamos is on the market so I wouldn’t mind him since he has no bastard children or slutty women 🙂

  • JuanCarlos

    Don’t worry Square, I love Jeniffer, but considering her relationship record, he’ll be back in your arms very soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • JuanCarlos

    To Empress: be more carefull the “bastard children” comment is a litle offensive, so keep those terrible words to yourself

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