Guess These Conspicuous Nipples

Like the nipples, I’m going to give you two clues for this one. “Food porn” are the first two words that come to mind. Okay, since he’s British — I’m going to give you one more clue, which is “look right”. Yes, it’s going to be too damn easy. Guess before you lick click!

That’s right, they belong to my OFFICIAL British husband Matt Tebbutt. If you’re not familiar with this super fine piece of SEX from across the pond, read and drool (but hands off, bitches) all about him here. These are from my wet dreams last night “Saturday Kitchen” on BBC one last week and I’m sure he will penetrate the humongous American market (insert a libido joke here) soon enough. When he peels the cucumber, Matt Tebbutt has just brought a whole new meaning to the term “food porn”. Yes, Matt should work with more giant cucumbers. And he knows how to squeeze as much liquid as he can out of them (I rest my case). Based on close observation and SERIOUS amount of squinting at his chest, I would imagine Matt has a reasonably furry one. That’s okay, because one smile from Matt would turn me into a puddle of warm goo. If he can only undo one more button on his shirt… And those hairy arms keep me awake and sweating at night.

Matt Tebbutt on Saturday Kitchen

Matt Tebbutt on Saturday Kitchen

Matt Tebbutt on Saturday Kitchen

Back to Top