Survivor Nicaragua: Blurred Crotches Galore

A new season of “Survivor” premiered last week, and as we all know, the series never disappoint with a vast array of man flesh. With man flesh comes blurred crotches. Wait, blurred crotches? I guess it’s too offensive now to look at bulges on primetime television? No comprende? Probably next season contestants are required to wear shirts all the time (that’s when I WON’T be watching)? Absolutely preposterous. This time, the tribes are divided into age groups and droolworthy-wise, it does make it a lot easier. One thing that’s prominent this season — BEEFY CHESTS! Everybody has it. I mean, there’s enough meat in Shannon’s chest alone to feed half the population of Nicaragua. Since we have multiple hotness to look at, I’ll go through some of the contestants with detailed(ish) analysis after the jump.

This post if for Stephen B, hope you’re reading this!

1. Shannon

Everybody’s talking about Shannon. Who can blame them. Blue eyes, jet black hair, bountiful pecs… I just want to put a loincloth over his genitals and put him on a pedestal. The fact that the boys will be in their undies a lot this season is a true delight, albeit the blurred crotches.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Hey CBS, blur that!

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

2. Chase

Despite the smoothness, chase is probably my favorite one in the camp. He has this boyish charms that can melt anyone. Also frequent victim of the blurred crotch syndrome.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

3. Sash

First of all, Sash is a cool name. I can’t recall anyone named Sash on TV before. He is the sole ambassador of hairy chest in the younger tribe this season, and there’s isn’t much to it anyway.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

4. Benry

It is such a shame that a hot guy like Benry kept his shirt on most of the time, and isn’t as showy as the other hunks. Total editor’s fault. There’s definitely more to be desired from this scuffy blue eyed hotness.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

5. Marty

Honestly, I have a strange attraction to Marty. Okay it’s not that strange knowing that I’m very attracted to the geriatric set. The silver goatee does add to the hotness, and I’m sure at least some of you would agree.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

6. Jud

Stephen Baldwin’s younger brother Jud is the type of guy you’d want to part with, get drunk together and most probably will end up with his lolly in your gob. And if you do want to take it from the back, be prepared to hear something like “Score!” during touchdown. No complaints there.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Before I end this post, I’m going to leave you with some outtakes from the latest International Jock commercial.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Fortunately, the editors aren’t always consistent. Thank goodness for that.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

That wasn’t offensive, was it?

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Uhm, how did he get in here? Fine, I have the hots for this one too.

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

Survivor Nicaragua Shirtless

  • DoverDavid

    Too cute and waxy for me, I never watch this show.

  • http://twitter.com/theJJMG Justin

    LOL!!!

    I have a suspicion that the crotches aren’t blurred because there’s a “bulge”. I’m willing to bet that it’s because the bulge was well-defined enough that a discerning eye could tell whether the individual in question was cut or uncut. ;-)

  • Ray

    Both Chase and Shannon have nipples to die for…..love to latch onto them and hear them moan…………

  • WarpedRecord

    I agree with DoverDavid’s “too cute and waxy” comment, though Marty has serious potential as a natural older man who’s totally unaware of his hotness — or IS he?

    Regardless, I won’t be watching this show to find out. Is “Survivor” even on anymore? I guess so, if Square tell me so.

  • Garrett

    Clearly several of these guys are shavers/waxers. So how do they keep it looking like that out “there”?

  • Matty

    So if CBS shows the Summer Olympics or anything like it are they going to blur out all the spandex and Speedo wearing athletes? They just add the blur to make you think there is something to hide and thus peaking your interest more. In other words the show is dying and they are running out of ideas short of just showing full nudity which sadly they can’t.

  • Curtis n Brad

    It is such a double standard when it comes to men! Women have been showing their tits and snatch in tv and movies for years but yet let a man try and show his butt or bulge or even nude and people go crazy! I think it is about time men get the respect they deserve. I know men are the ones producing and directing tv and movies thats why you see naked women and never any naked men. Why is a mans bulge or nudity bad yet a woman is ok. Tired of all the man hating and bashing. Let us see their bulges!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/marvelboy74 Todd R

    They could just give them some proper trunks and be done with it all. But it’s like the guys in boxer briefs don’t have any trunks but the guys who might have briefs, like Jud, get trunks.

    Marty is very attractive with a good bod.

  • mnrocko

    The only reason it’s blurred and mens sexuality is oppressed is that all the powers that be..@ NBC, CBS, an ABC are old school thinking men! Look at Showtime, Hbo, etc..younger writers, directors, producers giving everyone equal opportunity! You aren’t gonna see hardons but an example is tonights episode of Weeds..Andy gives a flash of dik, and last week Silas gave a little dirty thigh action!!..That and the religious right has the major stations by the short hairs…..because god forbid,,,,,the children see something out of the ordinary…like a naked body!!

  • http://www.squarehippies.com/ Square

    @Matty I couldn’t agree with you more. I actually watched this show half-heartedly. It’s getting really old and I think it has reached the end of its life.

  • sally 4th

    Wow, those puritan Pilgrims sure did a number on you poor Americans.

  • Daknee

    Alright I’m likng Shannon. I love a man with dark hair and light eyes plus I find his baby fat roll appealing!

    Mary is sexy for an older guy. He has a sexyness about him too. How old is he?

  • KarmaLysing

    “We gotta get more bamboo”… Aheh. Aheheh. Aheh.

    I have such a dirty mind…

  • FakeName

    Sash is not a cool name. Sash is what beauty queens wear.

  • Pingback: Survivor's Shannon Elkins Only Tried Outing Sash To Prove He's a Liar Too / Queerty()

  • Mallory

    Well, I think Survivor has come close to running it’s course and that’s from a die hard Survivor fan, so a fairly difficult statement for me to make. Too bad Shannon’s already gone, he was very nice to look at. Chase and Ben, definitely are too. Sash — eaah, hes not ugly. I wonder just how much longer Survivor WILL be on the air……

  • hawk

    I’m sick of living in the Victorian Age. Guess what America? Men have cocks! And they’re a lot of fun to look at and play with! I don’t expect them to show guys ejaculating but give us a break from the prudish attitudes!

  • wha

    They should continue to blur the guys’ bits until we start seeing some camel toe. You’ll have to satisfy yourselves looking at the guys’ chests and butts.

  • Mark

    I rarely watch Survivor so I was unaware of the blurring of the crotches. How juvenile. When will America grow up? What a bunch of Puritans.

  • http://www.metalroofingfaq.com Metal Roofing

    the best beauty queens are coming from south america, i really love latinas `.*

  • Shania

    Wow shannon is totally hot

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