Guess This SHAVED Chest

This is breaking news, and my crotch is too livid — I repeat, TOO LIVID to give you any clue right now. All I can say is America (yes, there’s a hint in there somewhere) is too freakin’ obsessed with SHAVING. Guess before you click and fall into a deep depression (I’m totally talking about me).

The prophecy is true. Before I’m heading to the cold shower, it’s Chris Evans in his upcoming superhero flick, “Captain America (Shaved Off His Dignity)”, via Wonderboy at the forum from the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. The good news is he will be very shirtless in this mess, but not a single follicle will be in sight. Maybe it’s a chest vest? Please tell me it’s a smooth chest vest and his fuzz are still intact… I see a riot coming.

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47 Responses to “Guess This SHAVED Chest”
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  1. Jean-Paul on October 29th, 2010 at 4:22 am

    What a tragedy! What’s wrong with these people?

  2. Comic Diva on October 29th, 2010 at 4:50 am

    Haha. I was just looking at these pictures on the Superhero Hype Forum and I thought: “They shaved his chest! Squarehippie would go batshit!” And so I popped on the site to see if you had any thoughts on the matter

    Yeah I don’t get why they had him shave his ches either since it’s the 40′s and I don’t think guys were into waxing back then. And Chris Evans has a very nice unshaven chest! Ah well… he still looks better then I thought with lighter hair.

  3. nate on October 29th, 2010 at 5:27 am

    he used to be charming
    but that muscle kinda scared me

  4. DoverDavid on October 29th, 2010 at 5:32 am

    I never get this, he’s suposed to be Captin America, so this character can’t have chest hair, or is not as authentic with chest hair, or no one will see the movie if he has chest hair? It’s not like he’s playing Tarzan, so well alas, this will be the deciding factor as to why I don’t see this movie.

  5. DaQuinta on October 29th, 2010 at 6:21 am

    Seriously, I´m crying.

    I really hate when men are shaved in a movie that supose to be set in the past, pretending at that time was normal, because men has been gone mad with shave their chest just in the fucking 90´s and 00´s .

    Sorry for my English, but I needed to write it because I´m really upset >:(

  6. Todd R on October 29th, 2010 at 6:25 am

    I thought Cap was always portrayed as a smoothie in the comics.

  7. Rafael on October 29th, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Deplorable. Whoever made him do that should be fired. “Hey, lets take his most defining feature, and take it away! GREAT idea!”

  8. Me on October 29th, 2010 at 7:47 am

    He looks FANTASTIC!

  9. CocteauBoy on October 29th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    I don’t think this reflective of an obsession as much as it is a reflection of the original character. And Chris is hot no matter what. YOWZA!

  10. wigglytuff on October 29th, 2010 at 9:37 am

    omg he is sooo perfect!…sure some hair would be awsome…but fuuuck..that bod!<333

  11. Sammy on October 29th, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Gorgeous either way!!!

  12. mckey on October 29th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    It’s funny why hair on the chest bothers them.They never shaved their armpits.Most American and British man.I’d say save the chest hair and start shaving your armpits.Just imagine how sexy that’ll be.

  13. Brutus on October 29th, 2010 at 9:46 am

    I say we start boycotting something to get guys to put their razors down.

    I SO don’t get the crotch shaving. And I’m not talking about manscaping.
    I mean the complete deforestation.

    Who wants a 3 y/o with an adult size schlong?

  14. Boris on October 29th, 2010 at 9:47 am

    And the saddest thing is that in Fantastic Four, he proved to the world that a superhero can be hairy… Let’s pray that he does not start to like that prepubescent look and that he will promptly regrow the follicles of wonder…

  15. Dewey Mee on October 29th, 2010 at 9:49 am

    At the risk off being thrown out and excommunicated, I LOVE smooth/shaved chests on men. I like hairy chests, too. I JUST LOVE MEN!!!!

  16. Square on October 29th, 2010 at 10:07 am

    @Dewey Mee Nothing wrong with that, mate.

  17. alguien on October 29th, 2010 at 11:18 am

    i too prefer guys to be unshaven however, i can just think of this as a way of showcasing chris’s magnificent nipples.

  18. JuanCarlos on October 29th, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    So Sad!!!!!!! I know he has an amazing body, but smooth doesn’t fit him, he’s a Hairy guy and we need to see the hair on that magnificent chest, don’t you think?

  19. JAF on October 29th, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    A smooth-chested Captain America is accurate and true to the character, but it is truly tragic to see Chris Evans manscaped. Let’s hope he returns to his natural state for other work.

  20. KarmaLysing on October 29th, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    The fact is, they’re trying to be completely accurate to the character as drawn in the comic, so I can understand WHY they made him do it.

    That said… NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOooOOOooOOOoOOO!!!!!

    (SOB) Please, Chris, don’t get to liking this look!!! (wiping tear away).

  21. eagander on October 29th, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Not even the Pope can absolve this sin!

  22. Carina Purefoy on October 29th, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    that sin! waste! so hairy, so perfect! now what? nothing!

  23. buoy on October 29th, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    I have always told my friends’: “If I wanted someone smooth in my life; I’d either be hetero-sexual or a pedophile”…. & don’t even get me going about guys shaving their axillae hair…. to paraphrase Sue on a recent Glee episode: “it should be a sin against human nature”… (& yes, I’m a male nurse)!! Meddie. :)

  24. szoszo on October 29th, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    i feel your pain but theres no way captain america has chest hair so its understandable

  25. Jesse James on October 29th, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Shaving Chris Evans is a crime! I completely agree, but…

    He’s just so damn pretty either way I can’t find it in me to get that upset. Hell! I’ll one of each.

  26. Jesse James on October 29th, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    That should have been “I’ll take one of each.”

  27. Mallory on October 29th, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Said it before, say it again : Chris Evans looks icky, straight–jacked up, all overly muscular and shaved. Hes a beautiful guy, but this look does absolutely nothing to his mystique, or if he never had one, then just to his “sexy” period.

  28. Milton on October 29th, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    Yes, Chris Evans DOES have magnificiant cheast hair, with a to-die-for “happy trail” leading to his navel, but I’d still hit that! Besides, we don’t know whether it was his choice or the director’s to shave his cheast hair. But for the amount of money he’s getting, I wouldn’t blame him for shaving his whole body.

  29. nix on October 30th, 2010 at 12:02 am

    Whatever, bbs! Those stills from the actual movie have secured my attendance.

    And to get geeky for a moment, Cap is a scrawny geek who gets shot full of drugs that turn him into a superhuman freak. Looks about right to me.

  30. chaetophile on October 30th, 2010 at 12:19 am

    As depicted in some of the most recent comics, Captain America is a hairy-chested blond man. Why the shaving then? Bleagh.

  31. anonymous25 on October 30th, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    ” really hate when men are shaved in a movie that supose to be set in the past, pretending at that time was normal, because men has been gone mad with shave their chest just in the fucking 90´s and 00´s”

    I recall seeing a fair amount of non hairy men in the old movies I’ve seen so some of them must have been shaving. That being said it probably still wasn’t as common then as it is now.

    I’m not always against waxing or shaving. I prefer a waxed guy over a excessively hairy one but Chris does look good with chest hair so I’m not sure why they made him wax. Maybe because being hairless makes it easier to see muscle definition. Thats the only explanation I can think of.

  32. KarmaLysing on October 30th, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    chaetophile – The chest hair is a recent edition. In the original Captain America comics from the early days, he was depicted as smooth-chested, or with minimal chest hair.

  33. Me on October 30th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    I prefer a naturally smooth guy, and if they’re not, I like them to shave. It shows their muscle tone, and I’d rather feel skin. Not female skin, but skin with muscle underneath. Nothing like it!

  34. Boris on October 30th, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    If they decided to shave/wax him for “authenticity”, I demand that the next Superman be played by a hairy man: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c7/Deathofsuperman.jpg

  35. Leo Carioca on November 1st, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    Well, what can I say?
    Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!

  36. Chris Evans Shirtless in Gucci Guilty Ad - Squarehippies.com on December 30th, 2010 at 2:14 am

    [...] to the species. While we welcome the triumphant return of Chris Evans’s hot furry chest from this disaster, I really don’t understand why the Photoshop fairies at Gucci have to meddle with his [...]

  37. g00dstuf on December 31st, 2010 at 1:06 am

    In the comic book, a complete loss of chest hair was a debilitating side effect of the super-soldier formula.

  38. Josh on January 4th, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Come to think of it, do any of the comic superheros have body hair? I don’t think they do, do they?

    He looks weird though as this character. Nothing like Chris Evans to me.

  39. James Marsden Shirtless in Modern Family - Squarehippies.com on January 8th, 2011 at 11:57 am

    [...] sure it’s still there, unless he’s shooting another superhero flick. We all know that ruins everything. While we’re in the topic of James, I really think he should keep the look on the [...]

  40. Upcoming Skin on Summer Screen - Squarehippies.com on April 3rd, 2011 at 3:22 am

    [...] Bradley Cooper, Chris Evans is always equally generous in most of his films. I’ve moaned and bitched about the follicle massacre in “Captain America: The First Avenger” before [...]

  41. Heather on April 9th, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    So sad! What is wrong with this world?! I hope the “hairless man” trend ends quickly. I love, love, love men, and the more “natural” the better. I don’t want a man that looks like a little boy or a woman. And then they have to keep shaving all the time, right? I just can’t imagine anyone in my family (Italian) or my husband’s family (Spanish) shaving their body hair. Okay, maybe “body builders” shave because they are obsessed with their weird muscles and want to see them more clearly when they stare at themselves in the mirror, and maybe boys like the guys on Jersey shore shave because they are trying to be body builders, but they are all weird and scare me. Just stop it people! Stop! Men are supposed to be hairy!!!

  42. Henry Cavill Shirtless in Immortals - Squarehippies.com on June 17th, 2011 at 4:29 am

    [...] one stripped off his dignity! Yes, this is the Chris Evans incident of 2011 – but triple the disappointment. There’s not much guessing who this shaved [...]

  43. ferduchi on June 18th, 2011 at 6:33 am

    He still looks good to me..makes him look younger..maybe that was what they were going for in the movie…either way he still is good looking..

  44. BU on June 19th, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Wow – I am so opposite your view on this. If you like seeing a guy’s muscles – isn’t it nice to actually see them instead of trying to look through a “carpet”? I guess I will keep lusting over tarzan types and you can keep lusting over Yeti…. ;-)

  45. bcooper on June 21st, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    no doubt it would have been more time consuming and costly to apply tattoo coverup over a hirsute bod. but at least it is nice to know the contours that one’s tongue can travel

  46. Chris Evans Shirtless in What's Your Number - Squarehippies.com on January 2nd, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    [...] in every way possible. On another note, apparently they have decided to make another “Captain America” flick. A quick reminder warning rather to the production people: LEAVE CHRIS EVAN’S [...]

  47. vorlon on February 6th, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    So, so beautiful with a shaved chest! I’ve always thought what a shame it was that Chris Evans was so hairy.

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