Guess This SHAVED Chest

This is breaking news, and my crotch is too livid — I repeat, TOO LIVID to give you any clue right now. All I can say is America (yes, there’s a hint in there somewhere) is too freakin’ obsessed with SHAVING. Guess before you click and fall into a deep depression (I’m totally talking about me).

The prophecy is true. Before I’m heading to the cold shower, it’s Chris Evans in his upcoming superhero flick, “Captain America (Shaved Off His Dignity)”, via Wonderboy at the forum from the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. The good news is he will be very shirtless in this mess, but not a single follicle will be in sight. Maybe it’s a chest vest? Please tell me it’s a smooth chest vest and his fuzz are still intact… I see a riot coming.

  • Jean-Paul

    What a tragedy! What’s wrong with these people?

  • Comic Diva

    Haha. I was just looking at these pictures on the Superhero Hype Forum and I thought: “They shaved his chest! Squarehippie would go batshit!” And so I popped on the site to see if you had any thoughts on the matter

    Yeah I don’t get why they had him shave his ches either since it’s the 40’s and I don’t think guys were into waxing back then. And Chris Evans has a very nice unshaven chest! Ah well… he still looks better then I thought with lighter hair.

  • nate

    he used to be charming
    but that muscle kinda scared me

  • DoverDavid

    I never get this, he’s suposed to be Captin America, so this character can’t have chest hair, or is not as authentic with chest hair, or no one will see the movie if he has chest hair? It’s not like he’s playing Tarzan, so well alas, this will be the deciding factor as to why I don’t see this movie.

  • DaQuinta

    Seriously, I´m crying.

    I really hate when men are shaved in a movie that supose to be set in the past, pretending at that time was normal, because men has been gone mad with shave their chest just in the fucking 90´s and 00´s .

    Sorry for my English, but I needed to write it because I´m really upset >:(

  • http://twitter.com/marvelboy74 Todd R

    I thought Cap was always portrayed as a smoothie in the comics.

  • Rafael

    Deplorable. Whoever made him do that should be fired. “Hey, lets take his most defining feature, and take it away! GREAT idea!”

  • Me

    He looks FANTASTIC!

  • CocteauBoy

    I don’t think this reflective of an obsession as much as it is a reflection of the original character. And Chris is hot no matter what. YOWZA!

  • wigglytuff

    omg he is sooo perfect!…sure some hair would be awsome…but fuuuck..that bod!<333

  • Sammy

    Gorgeous either way!!!

  • mckey

    It’s funny why hair on the chest bothers them.They never shaved their armpits.Most American and British man.I’d say save the chest hair and start shaving your armpits.Just imagine how sexy that’ll be.

  • http://www.orangemercury.com Brutus

    I say we start boycotting something to get guys to put their razors down.

    I SO don’t get the crotch shaving. And I’m not talking about manscaping.
    I mean the complete deforestation.

    Who wants a 3 y/o with an adult size schlong?

  • Boris

    And the saddest thing is that in Fantastic Four, he proved to the world that a superhero can be hairy… Let’s pray that he does not start to like that prepubescent look and that he will promptly regrow the follicles of wonder…

  • Dewey Mee

    At the risk off being thrown out and excommunicated, I LOVE smooth/shaved chests on men. I like hairy chests, too. I JUST LOVE MEN!!!!

    • http://www.squarehippies.com/ Square

      @Dewey Mee Nothing wrong with that, mate.

  • alguien

    i too prefer guys to be unshaven however, i can just think of this as a way of showcasing chris’s magnificent nipples.

  • JuanCarlos

    So Sad!!!!!!! I know he has an amazing body, but smooth doesn’t fit him, he’s a Hairy guy and we need to see the hair on that magnificent chest, don’t you think?

  • http://the-quantum-blog.blogspot.com JAF

    A smooth-chested Captain America is accurate and true to the character, but it is truly tragic to see Chris Evans manscaped. Let’s hope he returns to his natural state for other work.

  • KarmaLysing

    The fact is, they’re trying to be completely accurate to the character as drawn in the comic, so I can understand WHY they made him do it.

    That said… NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOooOOOooOOOoOOO!!!!!

    (SOB) Please, Chris, don’t get to liking this look!!! (wiping tear away).

  • eagander

    Not even the Pope can absolve this sin!

  • Carina Purefoy

    that sin! waste! so hairy, so perfect! now what? nothing!

  • http://squarehippies.com buoy

    I have always told my friends': “If I wanted someone smooth in my life; I’d either be hetero-sexual or a pedophile”…. & don’t even get me going about guys shaving their axillae hair…. to paraphrase Sue on a recent Glee episode: “it should be a sin against human nature”… (& yes, I’m a male nurse)!! Meddie. :)

  • szoszo

    i feel your pain but theres no way captain america has chest hair so its understandable

  • Jesse James

    Shaving Chris Evans is a crime! I completely agree, but…

    He’s just so damn pretty either way I can’t find it in me to get that upset. Hell! I’ll one of each.

  • Jesse James

    That should have been “I’ll take one of each.”

  • Mallory

    Said it before, say it again : Chris Evans looks icky, straight–jacked up, all overly muscular and shaved. Hes a beautiful guy, but this look does absolutely nothing to his mystique, or if he never had one, then just to his “sexy” period.

  • Milton

    Yes, Chris Evans DOES have magnificiant cheast hair, with a to-die-for “happy trail” leading to his navel, but I’d still hit that! Besides, we don’t know whether it was his choice or the director’s to shave his cheast hair. But for the amount of money he’s getting, I wouldn’t blame him for shaving his whole body.

  • nix

    Whatever, bbs! Those stills from the actual movie have secured my attendance.

    And to get geeky for a moment, Cap is a scrawny geek who gets shot full of drugs that turn him into a superhuman freak. Looks about right to me.

  • chaetophile

    As depicted in some of the most recent comics, Captain America is a hairy-chested blond man. Why the shaving then? Bleagh.

  • anonymous25

    ” really hate when men are shaved in a movie that supose to be set in the past, pretending at that time was normal, because men has been gone mad with shave their chest just in the fucking 90´s and 00´s”

    I recall seeing a fair amount of non hairy men in the old movies I’ve seen so some of them must have been shaving. That being said it probably still wasn’t as common then as it is now.

    I’m not always against waxing or shaving. I prefer a waxed guy over a excessively hairy one but Chris does look good with chest hair so I’m not sure why they made him wax. Maybe because being hairless makes it easier to see muscle definition. Thats the only explanation I can think of.

  • KarmaLysing

    chaetophile – The chest hair is a recent edition. In the original Captain America comics from the early days, he was depicted as smooth-chested, or with minimal chest hair.

  • Me

    I prefer a naturally smooth guy, and if they’re not, I like them to shave. It shows their muscle tone, and I’d rather feel skin. Not female skin, but skin with muscle underneath. Nothing like it!

  • Boris

    If they decided to shave/wax him for “authenticity”, I demand that the next Superman be played by a hairy man: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c7/Deathofsuperman.jpg

  • http://ultracecgb.blogspot.com/ Leo Carioca

    Well, what can I say?
    Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!

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  • g00dstuf

    In the comic book, a complete loss of chest hair was a debilitating side effect of the super-soldier formula.

  • Josh

    Come to think of it, do any of the comic superheros have body hair? I don’t think they do, do they?

    He looks weird though as this character. Nothing like Chris Evans to me.

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  • Heather

    So sad! What is wrong with this world?! I hope the “hairless man” trend ends quickly. I love, love, love men, and the more “natural” the better. I don’t want a man that looks like a little boy or a woman. And then they have to keep shaving all the time, right? I just can’t imagine anyone in my family (Italian) or my husband’s family (Spanish) shaving their body hair. Okay, maybe “body builders” shave because they are obsessed with their weird muscles and want to see them more clearly when they stare at themselves in the mirror, and maybe boys like the guys on Jersey shore shave because they are trying to be body builders, but they are all weird and scare me. Just stop it people! Stop! Men are supposed to be hairy!!!

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  • ferduchi

    He still looks good to me..makes him look younger..maybe that was what they were going for in the movie…either way he still is good looking..

  • BU

    Wow – I am so opposite your view on this. If you like seeing a guy’s muscles – isn’t it nice to actually see them instead of trying to look through a “carpet”? I guess I will keep lusting over tarzan types and you can keep lusting over Yeti…. ;-)

  • bcooper

    no doubt it would have been more time consuming and costly to apply tattoo coverup over a hirsute bod. but at least it is nice to know the contours that one’s tongue can travel

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  • vorlon

    So, so beautiful with a shaved chest! I’ve always thought what a shame it was that Chris Evans was so hairy.

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