A New Record High for Narcissism

Here’s a shirtless picture of one of the tangerine ducks from ITV “reality” series “The Only Way Is Essex”, Joey Essex. “The Only Way Is Essex” is like the British bastard child of “The Hills”, “The Real Housewives” and three dozens other similar reality series you love to hate. When I first saw this Efron-esque English Ken doll in action, I have to shamelessly admit that he gave me the tingles but upon two seconds in it is clear that the level of self loving is too much for any mortal to handle.

Here’s what Joey has to say about this new makeover to Heat magazine:

I feel a lot sexier than normal. I’ve got my top off and I’m all sweaty. This is definitely one of my sexiest days. I’m probably hitting, like, eight-and-a-half, nine, nearly a ten in sexiness. I like my new look, I think it’s really cool. Some of my skinny jeans chafe, I’ve been told by girlfriends that I shouldn’t wear them so tight.

When asked about if this new look will help him to pull the girls now that he’s single again:

It will, but I’ve already got all the girls after me.

I rest my case.

  • John

    No thanks.

  • Joe

    my thoughts exactly, John. this guy would sooner turn me off than on in the slightest

    also, isn’t the show basically Jersey Shore in the UK? that’s how Stephen Moyer described it on Jimmy Kimmel

  • @Joe We have Geordie Shore for that. 😉

  • David

    Who the hell is this douce bag….he is not even remotely cute…kids these days have such a heightened sense of who they are (or should I say who they wish they were)….give me a Paul Rudd kind of guy….now there is a guy who should be saying what this idiot is saying….but then Paul is too humble to even think that.

  • okcspooge

    That attitude with THOSE skinny arms? Even MINE are bigger. I’d pass on him too, and …never mind. Who’m I kidding. Of course I’d buy him a motorcycle and sew for him. The cockiness might be an act. He just needs love and nurturing and toys and 40 tattoos.

    I agree with David. Give me a Paul Rudd any day.

  • Phil

    Nah-he just needs a turn over my knee…

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