A New Record High for Narcissism

By Square on August 13, 2011 in Others

Here’s a shirtless picture of one of the tangerine ducks from ITV “reality” series “The Only Way Is Essex”, Joey Essex. “The Only Way Is Essex” is like the British bastard child of “The Hills”, “The Real Housewives” and three dozens other similar reality series you love to hate. When I first saw this Efron-esque English Ken doll in action, I have to shamelessly admit that he gave me the tingles but upon two seconds in it is clear that the level of self loving is too much for any mortal to handle.

Here’s what Joey has to say about this new makeover to Heat magazine:

I feel a lot sexier than normal. I’ve got my top off and I’m all sweaty. This is definitely one of my sexiest days. I’m probably hitting, like, eight-and-a-half, nine, nearly a ten in sexiness. I like my new look, I think it’s really cool. Some of my skinny jeans chafe, I’ve been told by girlfriends that I shouldn’t wear them so tight.

When asked about if this new look will help him to pull the girls now that he’s single again:

It will, but I’ve already got all the girls after me.

I rest my case.

Tags: british fake gay reality smooth

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7 Responses to “A New Record High for Narcissism”
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John on August 13th, 2011 at 8:04 pm

No thanks.
Joe on August 14th, 2011 at 2:28 am

my thoughts exactly, John. this guy would sooner turn me off than on in the slightest

also, isn’t the show basically Jersey Shore in the UK? that’s how Stephen Moyer described it on Jimmy Kimmel
Square on August 14th, 2011 at 3:58 am

@Joe We have Geordie Shore for that.
David on August 14th, 2011 at 9:21 am

Who the hell is this douce bag….he is not even remotely cute…kids these days have such a heightened sense of who they are (or should I say who they wish they were)….give me a Paul Rudd kind of guy….now there is a guy who should be saying what this idiot is saying….but then Paul is too humble to even think that.
okcspooge on August 14th, 2011 at 10:07 am

That attitude with THOSE skinny arms? Even MINE are bigger. I’d pass on him too, and …never mind. Who’m I kidding. Of course I’d buy him a motorcycle and sew for him. The cockiness might be an act. He just needs love and nurturing and toys and 40 tattoos.

I agree with David. Give me a Paul Rudd any day.
Phil on August 15th, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Nah-he just needs a turn over my knee…
Charlie King of The Only Way of Essex - Squarehippies.com on April 24th, 2012 at 2:58 am

[...] British bastard lovechild) and is one of the many closeted guys they’re trying to pass as metrosexual Essex geezers. I don’t have time to watch this mess, but a glimpse of Charlie last night made my heart [...]