Possible ‘Quit Playing Games with My Heart’ of This Decade Alert

One Direction Shirtless

About a century ago, all my genital parts basically imploded when Backstreet Boys released the music video for “Quit Playing Games With My Heart”. We didn’t have YouTube back then so I had to keep my panty pudding to the minimum at the record store. If that had the same effect on you, then prepare to feel FUCKING OLD. So when One Direction did this teaser for their “Kiss You” music video, I know exactly how it feels. Mouth foaming, crotch burning, suicidal thoughts – the works. Someone should tell Zayn (the best looking of the bunch and possibly will Beyonce his ass out of the band in a few years) that he should stop the 5 year old toddler artist scribbling on his body because tattoo removal hurts a fucking lot when he reaches 25.

One Direction Shirtless in Music Video Kiss You

One Direction Shirtless in Music Video Kiss You

One Direction Shirtless in Music Video Kiss You

One Direction Shirtless in Music Video Kiss You

  • Derp

    I think Zayn tattoos are super hot

    I wanna lick him like a lollipop


  • Mark

    I can’t believe how overrated these twinks are!Kids these days are so easy and tasteless!Yes Zayn does have a pretty face but put him next to JC Chasez and Ronan Keating when they were his age,he’s nothing!The other members are just butterface twinks!

  • Mark

    I can’t believe how overrated these twinks are!Yes Zayn has a pretty face but put him next to JC Chasez Ronan Keating when they were his age,he’s nothing!The other members are just butterface twinks!Not to mention their songs are not that good!Kids these days are so easy and tasteless!

  • RupertBare

    Liam at least, is a cute wee ratbag, shame that like all the so called ‘ singers ” they have NO talent, or star quality…….sad but true…..who’ll even remember their names in 5 years???

  • WannaBuyaDuck

    Kiddie porn.

  • Eric

    A few of them have good looking faces, but that is about it. Their bodies are very average and they are virtually hairless. They don’t really have any armpit hair. Such a shame. None of them do anything for me.

  • Sincere Digg

    I watch the music video and think they are actually charismatic, charming and funny

    Boybands of the past were equally manufactured

    But they seemed a lot like programmed robots

    1D seems a little more “genuine” (just my opinion)

    I watch a video of Zayn singing live
    And I think he sings well too

    Don’t know about the other guys =/

    I just know I would have sex with all of them

    In order
    Zayn = S2

    You can judge me if you want

  • Warren

    No judgment, but I feel creepy looking at boys this young and in this context. {Quietly leaving the room}

  • Bro

    It’s like a whole boyband full of Nicks (from Backstreet) – which is great if you like twinks with the bodies of 10 year old boys I guess (with terrible hair IMO). But if you’re a Kevin man, like myself, there is nothing to see here.

    • @Bro Damn. I LIVE for Kevin back then! He was my EVERYTHING.

  • RupertBare

    As I said originally 5 years and who’ll know their names…..I was wrong, it was Niall I meant, sorry got him confused with Liam…..like all these basically talentless manufactured boy bands, one is almost interchangable with the other!!!!!

  • Cookie

    These guys are simply nasty. None of them are attractive and their music is mediocre at best. While I enjoy Squarehippies, these images are uncomfortable to look at, and unappealing in every sense of the word.

  • JuanCarlos

    Ever heard of IRISH boyband WESTLIFE?? they disbanded last June after 14 years, but those are real MEN, this kids are SAD to look at…for me anyway.
    I recomend you to look for a WESTLIFE video on youtube called SOMETHING RIGHT…you will see the difference!!!!!

  • Derp

    Compare what people said about Zac Efron in 2007 and what they say about him now in this last “Paperboy” post

    I’m sure that if in 3 years they don’t “disappear”, a slight maturing and some little gaining of muscle mass will make opinions change here

  • eagander

    Sad they are ruining their bodies with crappy looking tattoos.

  • RupertBare

    @Derp @Eagander I’m sorry but no amount of aging or lack of ink is going to alter the fact that they have NO voices!!!!!! For fuck sake, has everyone gone completely tone deaf??????

  • Len

    Hated all boybands before, feel the same way now. Even if i were 14 today, I wouldn’t even give them a second look.

  • joe

    I’d be all over Niall (the blonde one), if for no other reason than because he’s Irish. Harry’s alright but the tattoos are stupid.

  • It’s a shame they haven’t got any body hair whatsoever, tho’ Zayn does seem to be trying to grow some kind of moustache…In the unlikely event that I would be forced to decide between having to listen to their music or shag one of them I guess I’d shag Zayn. With earplugs.

  • Okcspooge

    One reason I love this band? Each member has a good voice. In previous boy bands, there were members who couldn’t carry a tune, e.g., NKOTB. WTF. I think One Diection songs are catchy, albeit bubble gum at times, but they are nicely done. Some feature solos by each member.

    I fell in love with 1D after their performance on SNL over a year ago.

    They are charming, talented, and good looking young men. I hope they stay out of trouble and enjoy a nice long career. Thank you for the nice post, Señor Square.

  • Ruperbare


  • C G

    I gotta admit, they look absolutely delectable here for the most part. Well, minus Harry. I’ll pass on that one.

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