Screw the Oscars, Here’s Rusty Joiner in Orc Wars
It has been a while since I’ve indulged myself in some bargain bin deliciousness, and this time it took me way back when my only salvation was a hard to come by underwear catalogue. You really don’t need to know anything else about “Orc Wars” or alternate title “Dragonfryre” because it sounded more unique (unyque?) – if you’re into scruffy Rusty Joiner in various stages of undress then you should just shut the hell up and hand them your money. Rusty was the lust object of everyone’s affection from the early noughties and he’s ageing EXTREMELY WELL. What he should really do though is to team up with my favourite bargain bin hunk Cuyle Carvin for “Orc Wars 2: Electric Bugaloo”. Trailer after the jump.
Credits: Arrowstorm Entertainment
Looking to leave the world behind, an ex-Marine (John Norton) buys a ranch in the remote American West, where he encounters a strange series of trespassers, including a beautiful elf princess (Aleya) and a Native American mystic. But when orcs invade his property, John must give up his isolation to become a hero, before the orcs sacrifice his new charges and unleash a dark magic on our world.
Ex-marine you say? John Norton? Oh well, I’ll take this over “John Carter” any day.