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  •  » Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

#1 2010-06-29 17:18:53

liquidskya
Long Sleeve Oxford
Registered: 2009-08-19
Posts: 11

Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

When you shave it...the bad luck happens!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … mson.html#

Is Rooney England's Samson? Wayne loses his powers after waxing his chest

By Gavin Allen
Last updated at 4:03 PM on 28th June 2010

For those who thought England had found a hero to fire them to World Cup glory, it's a let-down of biblical proportions.

But perhaps the Good Book may hold clues to the abysmal form of the country's best player, Wayne Rooney, in South Africa.

As he trudged off the field after swapping shirts at Bloemfontein yesterday following the 4-1 annihilation by Germany that ended England's interest in the finals, he showed a chest devoid of hair.

But did this flirtation with personal grooming account for his loss of powers, just as it did to the once superhuman Samson?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/28/article-1290232-0A3A8CAE000005DC-846_224x480.jpg
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/28/article-1290232-0A3C8FAE000005DC-645_224x481.jpg
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/28/article-1290232-0A3AA008000005DC-861_468x320.jpg

Hair free: Wayne Rooney shows off his freshly waxed chest at the end of England's defeat to Germany on Sunday (left). He normally prefers a hairier look, seen here after a match at Wembley in May

Hirsute's you sir: Samson, with hair, at the height of his destructive powers

According to the Bible, in exchange for his incredible strength, God instructed Samson that he should never cut his hair.

But after falling in love with Delilah, to whom he revealed the secret of his powers, she conspired to have his hair cut off and he was captured and killed by the the Philistines.

Rooney is normally seen with a much hairier chest and for yesterday's match he had also abandoned his normal stubble for a clean-shaven look.

His new set of aerodynamics bore no dividends however as he failed totally to recapture the form that saw him score 34 goals in the Premiership last season.

He looked tired, his first touch was poor and one wild shot on the run ended embarrassingly wide of the target.

The Mail's chief football correspondent Matt Lawton thought he looked unfit and said he failed to get in the game - yet again after poor showings against the USA and Algeria, during which he was even substituted.

But the Manchester United ace is not the first footballer to wax his chest.

His team-mate Frank Lampard, who came within a dodgy linesman's decision of levelling the scores at 2-2 yesterday,  also has a history of close shaves.

He was infamously pictured on a beach holiday with his chest and armpits waxed: painful - but not as painful as England's World Cup exit.

Should Fabio Capello remain in his job, perhaps he should consider banning waxing kits as well as mobile phones and WAGS.

Clean shaven: Frank Lampard famously showed off his waxed chest and shaved underarms on holiday in Hawaii in 2004
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/06/28/article-1290232-013432480000044D-820_468x341.jpg

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#2 2010-06-29 17:55:11

DoverDavid
Shirtless!
Registered: 2008-10-13
Posts: 258

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

Let that be a lesson to all shavers, when you wax, razor, pluck or do what ever insane ritual you do to strip yourself of your own masculinity, you pay in the long run, maybe not today but soon you will pay.  Plus his skin is way too pasty for shaving.  He can think of the teams loss as it grows back in.

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#3 2010-06-29 18:04:49

gaztop
Long Sleeve Oxford
From: NW UK
Registered: 2009-12-19
Posts: 35

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

The performance on the pitch was bad enough; the shaved chest just added insult to injury.

Iím pretty sure that someone has had a go at his eyebrows too - what a disappointment sad

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#4 2010-06-29 19:55:38

KMac
Butt Nacked!
From: Sheffield, UK
Registered: 2009-11-28
Posts: 490
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@liquidskya

That was extremely well writen and entertaining (AND I think you are absolutely correct)  Thanks!

Shame to see Rooney joining the ranks of the waxworks (They look like real people but aren't)

Mac


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From Mac with lurrrvve
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#5 2010-06-30 18:21:06

joetimber
Butt Nacked!
From: Sydney
Registered: 2007-04-06
Posts: 1085
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

oh, rooney. why'd you have to go and do this? i mean, it's not that you look bad, no, it's not it at all, i'd still hug you [forever] anyway. but we'll miss your chest hair terribly, 'till it grows back.

Last edited by joetimber (2010-06-30 18:21:56)


[j]

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#6 2010-06-30 20:47:02

KMac
Butt Nacked!
From: Sheffield, UK
Registered: 2009-11-28
Posts: 490
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@JoeTimber,
If you are hugging him forever, duct-tape oven mitts to his hands so that he can't operate a razor or waxing strips.

Captor Mac


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From Mac with lurrrvve
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#7 2010-07-01 01:16:06

joetimber
Butt Nacked!
From: Sydney
Registered: 2007-04-06
Posts: 1085
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@KMAc it sure sounds like the right thing to do. i'll keep that in mind.


[j]

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#8 2010-07-01 06:21:48

KMac
Butt Nacked!
From: Sheffield, UK
Registered: 2009-11-28
Posts: 490
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@Robertg,

How would you protect your tongue?

Linguo Mac


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From Mac with lurrrvve
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#9 2010-07-09 15:24:26

g00dstuf
Long Sleeve Oxford
Registered: 2010-06-26
Posts: 20

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

Why is it that Wayne Rooney makes me fantasize about hobbits?

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#10 2010-07-09 19:01:49

KarmaLysing
Butt Nacked!
From: Kansas City, MO, USA
Registered: 2007-03-09
Posts: 2753

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@g00d - His strong resemblance to Sean Astin?  wink


Eventually, I meet EVERYONE, Luv.

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#11 2010-07-27 23:09:56

squarebart
Butt Nacked!
From: California
Registered: 2008-05-11
Posts: 1240
Website

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

frank lampard, mentioned above...
http://i1.cdnds.net/10/26/550w_gayspy_frank_lampard.jpg
http://i2.cdnds.net/10/26/550w_gayspy_frank_lampard_1.jpghttp://i2.cdnds.net/10/26/550w_gayspy_frank_lampard_2.jpg

soccer dude I think

oxo SB

Last edited by squarebart (2010-07-27 23:11:30)


http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo303/photobartley/00000_sliver_eyes_tiny.jpg

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#12 2010-07-31 03:37:53

g00dstuf
Long Sleeve Oxford
Registered: 2010-06-26
Posts: 20

Re: Square IS Right! Shaving the fur can have bad effects (re: World Cup)

@Karma

Rooney's kind of a combination of the hotest elements of all three: Merry, Pippin, and Samwise.

I spent most of Lord of the Rings panting after Aragorn, but Rooney has me rethinking those furry little halflings.

Ooops, I might be going off topic here.

Sorry about that.

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