Dough, A Deer

By Square on November 22, 2009 in Others

Levi Johnston Shirtless

It’s clearly the “making money weekend” and now we have the much anticipated hyped Levi Johnston spread in Playgirl. I bet a lot of people were disappointed because there is no peen or hockey stick involved, just a lot of dough and one relatively flat ass. Don’t get me wrong — I love a naturally gym free body but come on, if I got paid to do a Playgirl spread, I’d work my ass off to get in shape and try not to rely on the magic of Photoshop so much. Here are some leaked pictures of Jordan Knight / Sean Astin / John Mayer’s 3-way lovechild posted at ONTD, but you know you can’t have everything here so head over there or donate some money to Playgirl for their holy effort to soil your eyeballs with the full set. And yes, I’d still hit this in the shower and everywhere else.

Levi Johnston Shirtless in Playgirl

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Juicy Comments

22 Responses to “Dough, A Deer”
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Hippy. on November 22nd, 2009 at 1:46 am

not a complete disappointment, but i was expecting a little more than a couple of cliche clothed poses and a glance from the shower door.

That being said, I’d still wreck that shit.
Brendan on November 22nd, 2009 at 2:43 am

Gym-free is fine, but Playgirl should’ve avoided some of the poses that were… umm… less flattering. Also, had they decided to show Dick, I’d have shelled out dough and bought a copy.
DoverDavid on November 22nd, 2009 at 6:23 am

Gross before, still gross now.
Bob Frank on November 22nd, 2009 at 7:33 am

Levi is a regular guy who hasn’t been training to be a model. He has natural good looks and charisma. He has a nice body but isn’t ready yet to be a fitness model. I think he’s very handsome and I loved these pictures.
b2b on November 22nd, 2009 at 8:48 am

are those all?
he didn’t do a full frontal,did he?
The Wire Hanger on November 22nd, 2009 at 9:55 am

Charisma: charm, magnetism, presence.

Charm? Nay
Magnetism? Not universally
Presence? This guy would go completely unnoticed if he hadn’t impregnated Palin’s daughter.

Please clock, let’s finish the fifteen minutes on this douche.

Regards,
The Wire Hanger
rickg on November 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am

Hey Guys,
This is just a normal no pumped up over cooked model. He au natural. And I salute him for that. He took heat to do this since “Mommy in law” (though not legally so… and who would want a mnom in law from hell anyway?) He needs to follow his life and not be directed by the morals of the Right. And he’s done that. Let him follow his dream. Just may end up that he hits the gym, beefs up, and goes for it. Until then, he just a common young guy who is trying to get somewhere in life. I love his pics. But, maybe one day guys… maybe one day…
Jaden on November 22nd, 2009 at 11:11 am

This is embarrassing…

I’d hit that.
Complex on November 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 am

What a Good Looking Guy!!! I fell in love with him when the world first saw him at the RNC. I don’t blame anyone for wanting to take his pictures. But he SUCKS as a model.
WannaBuyADuck on November 22nd, 2009 at 11:59 am

He’s a good looking kid, but when you hear him speak, you know he’s a dumb red neck. And there is a vapidness in his eyes that says “Deer in the headlights,” not ‘Catch me, fuck me.” Before the shoot Levi was SOOO eager to show dick, and now … nothing. I’ll bet it’s because when the photographer (and his agent) saw his teeny pee-pee they decided to keep some things a secret, lest he be known forever as “Lil’ Levi!”

I’d still lick him from head to toe including the teeny pee-pee.
eagander on November 22nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm

What’s his point in posing if he’s not going all the way. Might as well be in a teenie bopper mag! All this will do is give the Palins more fodder against him as being an unfit father. One word: “LOSER!”
theduckhunter on November 22nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm

you know the sad thing is your ripping into Levi and I doubt any of you would be brave enough to do what he did
The Wire Hanger on November 22nd, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Posing for Playgirl does not a brave man make.
Robert on November 22nd, 2009 at 4:18 pm

He is a nice average looking guy. He is blessed in the looks department for sure. Just DON’T let him talk!
Kerry on November 22nd, 2009 at 5:17 pm

A thorn in Sarah Palin’s side,,,,but beautiful for us!!!!! Love it!!!!!

Also, I agree with theduckhunter
Jay on November 22nd, 2009 at 6:38 pm

I’ll wait for his appearance on Broke Straight Boys.
Kevin on November 22nd, 2009 at 7:32 pm

That’s it? No nudies? Um…I’m sorry but If I wanted to see a partially clothed cutie, I’d buy the next edition of Men’s Health!
squarebart on November 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 pm

Jay (above) hit the nail on its fleshy head! Broke straight boys! LOL…
Mallory on November 23rd, 2009 at 2:17 am

LOL @ The Wire Hanger. Yes, goodness. Enough already, he’s alright looking. Not what I’d call hot, but he’s nice looking. Thats IT. This douchebag needs to quit milking whatever the hell he thinks he’s got to offer. Next.
Dave S. on November 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 am

Personally, I’m totally into Levi and his upcoming Playgirl layout. I know I’m the scorn of all my friends, but y’know, the guy’s hot as hell. Even though he doesn’t have the greatest butt in the world. Which is kind of disappointing. But not disappointing enough for me not to buy the issue when it comes out.
Justin on November 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Hm I think the ONTD post has been taken down. It’s a shame because it had a hilarious comment — apparently Levi’s left arm is tattooed with big block letters with “Johnston”. The commenter opined that Levi labelled that arm so he would remember which hand he used to whack of his “Johnston” with, and wouldn’t get confused.

I’d be willing to help him out with that, in case he forgot about the tattoo.

I was asked by a friend the other day to “admit” I wouldn’t kick Levi out of bed. I said “admit NOTHING — I’d tid him down ON to my bed.” I don’t care that he’s not model-perfect; he’s friggin hot and I like a normal-looking guy. Plus he drives Sarah Palin nuts and that’s good enough for me
WarpedRecord on November 24th, 2009 at 2:47 am

Didn’t he used to be somewhat hairy? I mean other than those armpits? Far be it from me to make catty comments on the Internet, but that chest would look a lot better with some fuzz. I’ll lend him some of mine.