Fuzzy, But I’m Still Not Hitting It

By Square on February 3, 2009 in Random Hotness

Jesse Metcalfe Shirtless

Jesse Metcalfe did everything right here, he lets nature takes its course by growing a mini forest on his chest (albeit a bit uneven thanks to the le wax) and skipping gym trips. That said, I’m still not going to hit it. At all. I know! It’s so weird. Chest hair and me are like poo and an excruciatingly hungry fly. Also, I don’t get why some people go head over heels over this guy. For those who do, enjoy these chunk-ish Jesse with some aesthetically questionable tats. Yes! I successfully made a comment on Jesse Metcalfe without using the word “manboobs”. Crap, did that count?

Jesse Metcalfe Shirtless

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Juicy Comments

31 Responses to “Fuzzy, But I’m Still Not Hitting It”
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Christian on February 3rd, 2009 at 9:47 am

He’s just not hot. Even fuzzy, he has a marshmallow doughy quality to him.
DoverDavid on February 3rd, 2009 at 10:02 am

If he wasen’t such a jerk in real life, I’d do him and the manboobs are just more to hold on to as I plow him!
metcalfe on February 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 am

This guy just screams loser. I had a huge thing for him on Passions and Housewives…but his attitude sucks; he makes terrible business decisions; and the tattoos are gross.
Jeff on February 3rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm

i remember when he got that tat, on tv. he was either on Miami Ink, or LA ink. Kat Von D did it. but yeah, I don’t quite see what everyone sees. I’m glad that him and Nadine Coyle broke up, Nadine could do better.
QCNiceGuy on February 3rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Hate the tat…Takes him off of my desirable list,
LeadingMan on February 3rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Love him. Hate the ink. What was he thinking?
robert on February 3rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Ick!
Mike on February 3rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Did he get Pec Implants?
LifeTrek on February 3rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm

I have never been attracted to him, and like you never understood why others were.
JoOoE on February 3rd, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Ew, sometimes he’s okay lookin and sometimes he’s really not okay lookin.
Patrick on February 3rd, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, why the tat? Tell me there’s not one on the other side.
OK guys, I’ll volunteer to check whether they’re soft or hard.
Gabrielle on February 3rd, 2009 at 11:59 pm

Can you say ewww! I use to love Jesse when he was on Passions, even Desperate House Wives. He looked better back then. Now he’s a douche bag and it seems he’s in need of a training bra to boot. Man tits do not look good on him. Not even the chest hair make these images of him look good. He looks very Kevin Federline bummish. And that is not hot in anyway, shape, or form.
hairyguysdicksucker on February 4th, 2009 at 1:03 am

i think that he looks so much hotter….i just want to suck his boobs…..i am going to start jerking now!!
Steve on February 4th, 2009 at 3:57 am

personally i think he looks really good - he’s gained a little bit of weight - big deal he’s still lean, still handsome. what is wrong with him being as he is now - he is getting older - are we all so lean and handsome still….?
ntemis on February 4th, 2009 at 7:33 am

awful tattoo,not especially body,awful tattoo
anonymous on February 4th, 2009 at 8:20 am

is he not nice in person? some of you said this, but I have not heard it.
Randall on February 4th, 2009 at 9:07 am

Of course I’d do him AND his laundry. But first I’d tear his arm off so I wouldn’t have to look at that ghastly tattoo. Or maybe I’d just cover it with tape. It is somewhat less than subtle. I like the hair though. Our Twink Jesse has left us.
David1969 on February 4th, 2009 at 9:14 am

Jessie is so HOT….loving the forest on the chest though I have to say that I could do without the tats….but all in all….the man is still someone I would NEVER kick out of my bed…..EVER!!!!
RodMDZ on February 4th, 2009 at 9:29 am

I like his manboobs… i like the fuzz.. i like him smooth… he’s a bit stupid but I don’t want him to talk right?
Z on February 4th, 2009 at 9:57 am

EW I have only one word for him right now: gross!
szoszo on February 4th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

TITS!!! no go…
jimmy wood on February 4th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

I’m not looking for perfection in any man.He looks fine I’d do em ,and I believe you mean bitches would also.The same guys making mean spirited comments.How do you know he’s a jerk ?
eagander on February 4th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

Seems he’s definitely enjoyed the Hollywood life and not working out as much to keep in shape. Love the hair (knew he had it somewhere). I don’t care much for tats but I could ignore it while sucking or fucking him.
WMassGuy on February 4th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

It’s hard to believe this is the same hot gardener from Desperate Housewives. I love the chubby look, I love the fur, I love the manboobs. I’m hating that tatoo though. I’d overlook it and just focus on his eyes as he slides into me though! He’s STILL smoking hot!
Ronald on February 5th, 2009 at 2:04 pm

I’d do him anytime of the day
Nic on February 5th, 2009 at 3:23 pm

I’m completely not sure what to do with him. I LOVE the fuzz. But, for the first time, the chunk isn’t working for me. If he would just tone it down a little, I’d hit it.
JASON on May 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 am

aww my ex baby has titties now eww
granolen on July 10th, 2009 at 12:20 am

Can you say “bitch-tits”? Signs of steroid use.
lusty on July 18th, 2009 at 10:43 am

this might sound weird, but i actually prefer his body that way; chunky and hairy! and his chest has grown bigger! just delicious!
François on January 8th, 2010 at 1:50 am

A forest? That’s a jungle! A true chest hair festival!
bob on February 21st, 2010 at 6:24 pm

the reason he aint working out lately is because he fell off a building. last time i check muscle turns into flab long-term when you cant workout cuz of broking bones and bruises. i hope he eventually hits the gym and gets his sexy tight body back