Kindly insert your own snake joke above. Riddle me this, Batman — where has Steve Backshall been all my life? Why does his smile put my crotch on high alert? Why is there no proper shirtless photo shoot of this piece of fine British mancake? And most importantly, why didn’t I grow up watching awesome shows like CBBC’s “Deadly 60″? So many questions! This hunk is never shy to take his shirt off, and someone needs to make use of his full potential. The UK’s answer to Dave Salmoni? You decided. Anyways, here are some caps from “Lost Land of the Volcano” via Rugger Lover (NSFW) and his MySpace profile. He states that he’s into outdoor girls, which is totally me! That’s a fact. Also a fact, you will Google his ass after reading this post. Heh. (more…)

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Post tags: beefy, british, discovery channel, fuzzy, host, television

I’m not saying that Mike Rowe has a stiff competition, because he will always and forever be the poster daddy of Discovery channel regardless. Introducing the latest mature beef to join the delectable Discovery subjects of crotch disturbance, British hotness Jeremy Wade. Jeremy might have a little case of Gordon Ramsay-itis, but you can’t help but to think impure thoughts about this man. He’s probably most well known as the host of “River Monsters” (insert pants jokes here) and since no one is recognizing his unique brand of sexiness anywhere else, here are some shirtlessness from the episode “Amazon Assassins”. Haters kindly move to the left, thank you. (more…)

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Post tags: discovery channel, fuzzy, mature, television

You know what’s worse than a hot guy like Mike Rowe with his shirt on? A hot guy like Mike Rowe TEASING. In this week’s episode of iwantyounowgoddamnit “Dirty Jobs” appropriately named “Tight Spaces”, Mike slipped into a rather tight suit and teased our crotches with some suggestive shots. I’m too old to be teased, honestly. Having said that, these caps by scorchingheat at Dreamcaps fueled my imagination like nobody’s business. Like most of you after I’m finished with this post, I’ll be right back. (more…)

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Post tags: discovery channel, hairy, host, mature, voice

FURst of all (that didn’t work, did it — I need to stop trying), I would like to apologize to all of you beautiful people for not posting these earlier. Again a sin has been committed and I’m trying my best to repent. Mike Rowe was shirtless in this week’s episode of Discovery’s ultimate daddyfest that is “Dirty Jobs”, and it’s about damn bloody time! If I was the producer, I’d make him do the entire season shirtless, although it can be a serious threat to the nation’s health situation. By nation I mean my crotch and its associates. They’re trembling in lust as we speak and needed urgent attention (like Mr. Rowe here). These are capped by scorchingheat over at Dreamcaps with a clip by moi, because Mike’s fuzz need to be experienced in motion. Now, I need to immediately surrender myself to this hairy daddy and tend to his needs. Later, bitches! (more…)

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Post tags: discovery channel, favorite, hairy, host, manly, television

What’s the first word that came to mind when you see the picture above? If it’s “cub”, then you deserve a virtual hug! This is furry bugger of a host Jamie Crawford, appropriately from Animal Planet UK, the same land where all the hairy hosts roam — spearheaded by Discovery daddy Mike Rowe. Perhaps the hairier, funnier version of Bear Grylls? Honestly National Geographic, you are way behind! Jamie hosts a show called “In Too Deep” (I know what you’re thinking and no, there are no bears or cubs involved) where he travels around the world doing stupid things like letting leeches and mosquitos devour him whole. Damn those critters! They are so lucky. He should’ve just waltz into my love den and let me have him instead. I’ll lick, not bite. Watch two clips of him being hairy and adorable after the jump! (more…)

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Post tags: british, cute, discovery channel, hairy, host, television

On the bed, with a pillow of course! Whenever I watch “Fight Quest” on Discovery Channel, my eyes are transfixed on this adorable fit hunk of a man, Doug Anderson. Forget the hairline, with a body like that you can get away with anything. He can wear Aretha’s inauguration hat for all I care and I’d still tap that from every direction possible. Since Doug did some pretty crazy things in learning the different types of martial arts around the world, I have a feeling that he’s the type of dude who is up to try anything in other departments as well. You know, stuff. I usually don’t go with guys shorter than me (he’s 5’6″) but I can totally make an exception for this one. His co-host Jimmy Smith is equally fit and yummy, and I can’t help but to shout “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” everytime I see them face to face. Now excuse me while I go wash my brain with industrial strength soap. It’s been a while. By a while I mean 2 hours. (more…)

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Post tags: discovery channel, fit, host, tattoo, television

Discovery daddy Mike Rowe is showing his competitor how it’s done (I’m not really picking a side here). You’ve seen his meaty pecs in every condition possible, but in this particular one I would like to highlight that we have his body hair all moisten up and ready to go. I feel like I can make a beautiful painting on his wet chest with my fingers. A true work of follicle art. Mike took a volcano mud bath in this episode from the second season of “Dirty Jobs”, and later tried to hitch a ride in his towel. Daddy in distress! I would stop, pick him up, get rid of the towel and give him a nice tongue bath. That stuff is chocolate right? Anyways, after all that have been said and done, Mike Rowe is still America’s premium cut of beef and noone on basic cable can ever top that! (more…)

© Square for Squarehippies.com, 2009. | Permalink | 11 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beefy, discovery channel, hairy, mature, voice

Let me catch my breath first. So, I have scoured the ends of the earth to find this footage of premium beefcake Mike Rowe doing some nasty business behind a car’s door and cap it to oblivion so appreciate! I’m not going to tell what exactly he was doing because this is where that filthy imagination of yours come in. Seriously, I can’t even put in words how much sex juice this man oozes. The voice, the face, the body, the everything. Utter perfection. I repeat, PERFECTION. Mike Rowe is definitely the best thing that ever happen to the Discovery channel period. Bear Grylls came in close second, of course. A little surprise for you awaits at the very end of this post! (more…)

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Post tags: beefy, discovery channel, favorite, hairy, host, manly, television

Finally, I think we have something to agree upon. Jason Chambers is what you call generic Hollywood soap hunky hotness. Although his recurring roles in daytime soaps is barely noticeable (I don’t watch them that much anyways), Jason is best known for the host of History Channel series Human Weapon. He’s like the Michael Jordan of martial arts with mad skills in Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Jeet Kune Do and many other I cannot pronounce. (more…)

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Post tags: discovery channel, jock, martial arts